Prisoner Of The Pacific

Aloha from My Studio, which I am in the process of moving and literally don't have a dime to do it. I am your typical self-depreciating, suicidal, introverted, recluse, that happens to be physically disabled vet, ostracized from humanity and the animal kingdom. Our youth is a bad example for determining what grew from those wild seeds of pleasure, when all those errant sperm are mute & unspeakable, distant and undefined, this entire lifetime. Point to any one of them and we never really looked eye to eye, really met, nor shared this life experience for one comfortable second. Who to Blame? I shouldn't blame my family who deserted me at (9) and introduced me into a dysfunctional solitary life of running and hiding from my self rejection. I shouldn't blame the Army for Sodomizing me on various occasions. I shouldn't blame my Company Commander, and his Cadre for forcing me to ingest hundreds of pills of psychoactive substance's, while in custody, by holding me down and stuffing them down my throat. I should be Grateful to the MP’s that intervened and took me to 97^th Gen. Hospital in Frankfort, Germany where the record shows my stomach was pumped, over 60 (LSD) foil wrapped pills, plus a mass of Goo was regurgitated, tested, and determined to be drugs, (ingested accidentally???), by an in line of duty investigation in 1969. I have all these records in my possession. I paid for, that show My case. They charge you 5 cents a page and took 5 years to do it. I am 67 years of Life and traveled extensively through the Planet on a low and non-existent budget. Over 54 Countries stamped on my Passport. (it has since been confiscated by U.S. Gov. for tax debt.) I was Creative & Entertaining........Paintings, Music, Song, & Dance like a Romantic Gypsy. After my discovery by anyone, anywhere, any finding out about me, and my Past Sodomization in the Military; I was again victimized, and treated with real disdain. (because of my admissions to family, and any group or society I was trying to integrate with) They feared I was contagious. So, I am rejected, kicked to the curb, thrown from the bus, and sent to the “Pala” Heap............My #1 Son Hates Me for allowing that to Happen, stating, “You should of Killed Yourself rather than let anyone know”. I filed for Compensation 20, 15, 10, & 5 years ago, and the cases were always thrown out on a technicality, until my final hearing the other day. In a Conference Call with a Judge, (Washington D.C.) determining the outcome of my claim. He said it is going back into an Appellate Review for Final Disposition. His attitude was foul with contempt and questions arose to show it. I felt Dirty & Demented, Foul with The Memories as He is Recommending Psychiatric Care and compulsory thanking me for my service. Running me around, jumping through hoops, and I am Physically in Pain 24/7 from My Disabilty (Northern European Male Genetic Disorder) Fibrosis. The V.A. Is My only support and made it possible for me to see again, by Lens Replacement Surgery 2 years ago. I also receive a stipend of $1,054 a month, food stamps of $78 and live in a H.U.D. Subsidized studio on the waters edge at Reeds Bay Hotel in Hilo, Hawaii. Through it all, We have The Best Country in the World, a place where we can Rant & Rave and still persecuted continuously for the crimes they committed against you. The Real Thoughts & Emotions are forever imprinted on your Soul. I would like to seek litigation for all of us broken and disabled people, that just want to Create, and be allowed to display their works in Society. I have thousands of images, and hundreds of oil/paintings, in storage; and hanging in my studio. I already approached every Gallery and even the Art Society, and left with hopelessness, and despair. A Professor from the University stated, “Your Art Has No Value”! That was on Christmas Eve when He asked me to pick-up 5 Images I was trying to display in a Gallery for the Disabled, run by a Federal Program. I have to create a strategy, so I can at least avoid Homelessness for the 99^th time, and remain A Lifetime Artist/Oil-Painter. I Laugh at it all the time, because the Gov't has spent millions, billions, & trillions on War, and hardly a dime for PEACE......NAMASTE......ALOHA